Have you just found out that your spouse has cheated?
This must be a painful, painful time for you. You feel angry, confused… lost. To you, there are no words to describe this life-shattering news that the person you love and trust had an affair with somebody else.
If you are in this difficult situation, here’s an encouraging message for you today: you can heal.
There is hope for your marriage despite all these things that just happened. It may seem like a far off, distant thing, but it is possible to heal after an affair as you and your spouse take the first steps toward change.
Here are some ways to help you recover from infidelity and rebuild your marriage, from CBN Asia’s Holy Week Special, Tanikala: Paghilom:
1. Pray and seek God’s help
Toni Miranda, played by actress Lara Quigaman-Alcaraz, found herself cheating on her husband John, portrayed by actor Marco Alcaraz. After realizing the weight of her sins, Toni fell on her knees and sought God’s forgiveness. She and her husband asked God to help restore their marriage and heal their broken hearts.
Thankfully, God is in the business of restoring broken things—especially marriages (1 Peter 5:10). Seek His guidance because His desire and design for your marriage is to be strong and healthy.
Pray that He gives you the strength, comfort, and wisdom you need to rebuild a relationship that stands the test of time. Trust that He can do miracles in your marriage and in this situation.
2. Choose forgiveness
It’s hard to forgive after all the texts you’ve read, the pictures you discovered, the conversations you overheard, or the numbing situation you walked into.
John knows exactly how you feel. In Paghilom, John’s world turned upside down after learning about his wife’s multiple affairs. Instead of lingering on the offense or punishing Toni, John chose to fix his eyes on Jesus. He chose to love and forgive his wife.
The pain of betrayal stings like no other, but forgiveness is like the healing balm that liberates you from the wounds of the past. You might struggle to forgive at first, but it becomes easier as you realize that when you needed forgiveness for your sins, God has freely forgiven you.
“Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins.” (Proverbs 10:12 NKJV)
3. Go to marriage counseling
Throughout their healing journey, Toni and John sought God. They also sought the help of trusted friends, marriage counselors, and signed up for a healing recovery program which helped them address their issues as a couple and as individuals.
Like them, you might want to consider consulting with a trained marriage counselor or family counselors at church. You don’t have to carry the pain alone—seek help. Both of you can make the decision to get some outside help and prayers.
Invest time for your marriage and be intentional in rebuilding your relationship with your spouse. As devastating as an affair is, God does some amazing things when a couple commits to rebuilding their marriage.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.” (Proverbs 3:5-8 ESV)
Do you need God’s healing and restoration in your marriage?
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