Do you believe that God is calling you for marriage?
Do you feel that you’ve already found The One and you’re wondering if you are ready to settle down?
The world might tell you, “When you know, you know!”
Nevertheless, a successful marriage takes more than knowing what you want. It is living out the calling God has for you and his calling for husband and wives.
Here are some points and questions to ponder to help you find out if you are ready to tie the knot, from couple and Beyond Small Talk hosts Mikki and Bettinna Carlos-Eduardo:
Husband’s calling #1: Love your wife just as Christ loved the church
Pulled from the wisdom of Ephesians, this first point addresses the gentlemen in the room.
Gentlemen, God commands you to love your wife like how He loved the church—even to the point of giving up His own life. He calls you to mirror His sacrificial love.
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” (Ephesians 5:25-27 ESV)
If you want to get married, Mikki suggests that you ask yourself these important questions first: “Can you really love that person and die for her? Can I die to my rights, die to my desire—for her, and die to my time? Because the Bible says that you present her holy after God.”
Husband’s calling #2: Disciple and mentor your wife
Before you pop the question to your significant other, take an honest look at your relationship with her and your personal relationship with God.
Knowing these two is crucial because God calls husbands to present their wives to God (Ephesians 5:27). Consider if you can disciple, mentor, and lead the other person closer to the heart of Jesus.
“Can I mentor this girl? Can I lead her closer to God or I would only lead her away from Him? Will this person submit to God’s calling in my life, my leadership as a husband, God’s vision for me—as well as the direction, the job I want, the money that we’ll be earning?” says Mikki.
But what if the person is not willing to submit to God’s calling in your life?
Ask God for wisdom and discernment, and talk to your partner about these crucial things.
Perhaps, she has a different plan or calling. When you two have different callings, it could be challenging for her to submit to yours.
You will have to respect each other’s calling or as Mikki emphasized, maybe it’s time to be apart first until you are both aligned – or God call you to be aligned with someone else.
Bettinna agrees and reminded women to put all faith and trust in God, “Marrying my husband doesn’t shift my idea and my trust in provision from God to the husband. That still belongs to God. God is ultimately the one providing and will provide for our family.”
Wife’s calling #1: Submit to your husband
For women who are asking themselves if they are ready to get married, Bettinna brought valuable questions to the table to help you confirm.
“The Bible calls us to submit to our husbands. So if I were to submit, can I submit to this person? Do I trust this person? Do I trust this person’s wisdom? Can I submit to this person who submits to the same Bible? Does he trust the Lord’s wisdom? If it’s all yes, then you’re ready to submit.”
Before you say “I do,” determine what’s important to you and know exactly what kind of husband you need. Someone who will meet you in the middle, respect you, and mirror God’s everlasting love for you.
As for Bettinna, “I was looking for a spiritual leader, co-parent, someone who is worthy of my respect and submission. Because if you can’t trust and respect your man, don’t think that you can submit to him.”
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:22-33 NIV)
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