Are you trapped in a wrong, toxic relationship?
It’s time to leave the past behind and find emotional freedom in your relationships. So how do you let go when love turns into abuse, betrayal, or heartaches?
Discover how beauty queen and Beyond Small Talk host Lara Quigaman-Alcaraz found freedom and healing from a toxic romantic relationship.
But first, what does a toxic relationship look like?
When you are in a toxic relationship, it could be hard to see the red flags. So here are some telling signs to help you weigh:
1. When you love your partner more than you love God
Jesus Himself calls you to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,” (Matthew 22:37 NIV). If you love your boyfriend or girlfriend more than you love God, if your relationship hinders you from honoring God, that relationship is not healthy for you.
2. When your world revolves around your partner
If you find it impossible to focus on anything but your relationship, if you don’t spend time with your family, friends, or church because all your attention goes to your partner – it’s an obvious sign that the relationship is toxic, Healthline says.
3. When the relationship becomes emotionally or physically abusive
“When your partner tells you mean things, or you yourself turn into a mean person; if you are always fighting and shouting at each other, these are clear signs that you’re in a toxic relationship,” Lara shared. Relationships have highs and lows, but when a man disrespects you, you know that you have to let it go.
If you ticked all the boxes above, don’t fret. You can get out of that rut! Here are some ways to break free from toxic relationships:
1. Cry out for help
Letting go of a relationship that you care about is a difficult thing to do, even if that relationship hurts you. So don’t hesitate to ask for help – from the people who loves you, from the God who loves you.
“Cry out for help to God. You pray, ‘Lord I want to get out of this relationship because I know that it’s wrong. Will you please help me, will you please strengthen me?’ Lara said, learning from a wrong relationship she had when she was younger. “I tell you, it’s difficult! Even though my toxic relationship ended, I still wanted to get back to that person that time because my heart wasn’t right with God yet.”
That’s why it’s important to seek God’s help. The hold of a toxic relationship on you could be very strong, but God can help you escape the bondage of pain and help you walk in total freedom.
2. Surround yourself with people you can trust and guide you
Do you have a life group or a Bible study group?
Who are your trusted family members, friends, or churchmates?
You need to be surrounded by people who love you enough to tell you that the relationship is wrong. These people want the best for you and are willing to be accountable for you when you tell them what is happening in the relationship.
3. Make yourself busy in improving yourself
Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein of Psychology Today suggests that you can get out of a toxic relationship if you keep knowing your value.
Work on yourself, focus on your growth, pay attention to your other relationships, and try to get a new hobby that would occupy your mind. Focus on the things God has revealed to you. See life through His eyes and watch His goodness unfold!
4. Be intentional in spending time with God
God promised that there is healing.
For you to receive His healing, you need to intentionally open your Bible, pray, soak in His promises each day, and remind yourself of your identity in God’s eyes.
If you are scared of making this huge decision, Lara left an assuring message for you:
“If you think you cannot leave because no one will love you, that is not true. That is a lie because Jesus loves you so much! You just need to set your eyes on Him. Allow Him to strengthen you to get out of that relationship. If God was able to take me out of that relationship, He can do the same for you.”
Take a deep breath. You can do this. You can overcome with the love of God – the love heals you, comforts you, and remains for you.
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35, 37-39 NKJV)
Are you looking for people who can pray for you and be accountable for you?
The CBN Asia Prayer Center is here to join you in prayers. We also have hundreds of faithful church partners across the country, just call 8-737-0-700 so we can connect you to a church near you.