Do you feel most loved when people say they appreciate you?
If so, your love language is probably words of affirmation. If you believe that actions speak louder than words, then you could be speaking the love language of receiving gifts.
But what are love languages, really?
After many years of marriage counseling, Dr. Gary Chapman authored the book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts and suggested that there are 5 love languages in which people understand, give, and receive love.
And because different people feel love differently, experts believe that knowing your love language would help you communicate love effectively.
Which among these 5 love languages do you speak?
1. Words of affirmation
Do you like hearing an “I love you” or receiving genuine compliments? Do you enjoy kind words and encouragement? If yes, then this is your love language.
While many people long for affectionate words and affirmation, words mean more deeply to you. You feel most loved when you hear that you are loved.
2. Quality time
If you value full and undivided attention above all else, quality time is your love language.
This means you appreciate one-on-one time with the TV off, people not checking their phones every 2 minutes, and just spending a meaningful moment with the ones you love.
3. Receiving gifts
Sure, a lot of people like receiving gifts but there are people who love receiving gifts above all else.
If you belong in this love language, gifts mean more than just material things to you. It doesn’t matter whether you receive a luxury watch or a pint of your favorite ice cream. You see the love, effort, and thoughtfulness that go with that special gift.
For you, it’s not the cost, it’s the thought!
4. Acts of service
This could be your love language if you feel appreciated when people do nice things for you.
To you, it does not always have to be grandiose. It could be as simple as helping you with the dishes or lending a hand during a stressful task.
Acts of service make you feel loved and cherished in any relationship. You appreciate any favor, huge or small. Every intentional or random act of service goes straight to your heart.
5. Physical touch
Are hugs, holding hands, or other affectionate touches most important to you? Perhaps, physical touch is your love language.
People who identify with this love language prefer physical contact over words or gifts. A touch on the arm or a massage at the end of the day mean a lot. To you, being touchy-feely makes you feel loved, cared for, and appreciated.
Which love language resonates with you the most?
Whichever of these you most strongly identify with, it is good to note that understanding their differences can make a serious impact on your relationships, Verywell Mind concludes.
God speaks your love language
Someone who is committed to following God’s call of loving people would make use of these love languages not just to receive love, but to share it in meaningful ways.
Even so, God’s love is not limited to 5 languages.
He speaks a “love language” that no one can see, hear, nor understand fully—unless He blesses them (Matthew 13:16-17).
And as you discover how you can speak love to yourself and to the people around you, may you be reminded that it can only be done with the Source of love (1 John 4:7). May you be comforted that God speaks your love language, and He speaks it fluently.
“So that the Messiah may live in your hearts through your trusting. Also I pray that you will be rooted and founded in love, so that you, with all God’s people, will be given strength to grasp the breadth, length, height and depth of the Messiah’s love, yes, to know it, even though it is beyond all knowing, so that you will be filled with all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:17-19 CJB)
Do you feel like nobody loves you?
Do you find it hard to express love to the people around you?
Do you want to experience God’s boundless love?