Are you at a point in your life right now where you feel so heartbroken? It just hurts so much that you don’t know how to pick up the broken pieces and heal the pain?
In Japan, broken things like pottery are often repaired with gold—an art form known as Kintsugi. It is meant not to hide the flaws, but to emphasize them as a beautiful part of the pottery’s history.
If you are going through a heartbreak, this practice of mending broken things sends a message you might benefit from: Your heart can mend. And as you go through your healing process, you can come out stronger, resilient, and more beautiful.
Grow through your grief! Here are 5 things you can do to heal your broken heart:
1. Grieve properly
Some people grieve too long, some don’t grieve enough. Either one can hurt the healing process.
While there is no certain timeframe for grieving, it’s best to give yourself enough time to recuperate emotionally and physically. Allow yourself to process the loss and truly feel your emotions without feeling any guilt.
Healthy grieving, according to University of Washington, gives you the ability to remember the importance of your loss—but with a newfound sense of peace, rather than searing pain.
2. Accept the loss
Are you still looking for explanations on why the relationship ended?
Truth is, there’s no breakup reason that’s going to feel satisfying. No reason can take away the pain you feel, so don’t force yourself to search for one. Accept that it’s over. Accept that the person is gone. Accept the reality, then put the questions to rest so you can start moving on.
To fully accept and move on, Help Guide suggests that you understand what happened and the part you played.
Ask yourself: How did you contribute to the situation? Do you tend to repeat the same mistakes? How do you deal with conflicts and stress? How could you act in a more constructive way? Are you in control of your feelings or your feelings control you?
Rediscover yourself and learn important lessons that could make you a better person.
3. Forgive and ask for forgiveness
They say, if you never heal from what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you.
If you don’t forgive the person for the things they did against you, you will internalize those thoughts and most likely, project those hurts onto other people who are not responsible for the pain you’re experiencing.
In his book Forgive for Good, Dr. Frederic Luskin noted that learning to forgive improves psychological and physiological wellness. The forgiver becomes emotionally stronger, more confident, and more optimistic.
As you forgive the person who hurt you, it’s also helpful to forgive yourself for the not-so-good things that you might have contributed to the relationship. Forgive yourself and ask God to forgive you as well.
4. Invest in yourself
Insomnia. Isolation. Intrusive thoughts. Immune system dysfunction.
A heartbreak is a psychological wound, but it impacts life in many ways. In fact, a study titled Anatomy of Love found out that 40% of brokenhearted people experience clinically measurable depression.
You might be feeling intense emotions currently, but now is the time to care for yourself more. Invest in your physical, mental, and spiritual health. Reestablish who you are and what your life is about. Carve out time for your family and friends—in things that bring you joy and purpose.
This is your season of exploring new things, of investing in your self-growth. This is an end as well as a beginning.
5. Receive God’s healing
Right now, you might feel as if the relationship has left a void in your life.
Thankfully, God can fill any void. So, pray. Talk to your Heavenly Father and surrender your brokenness to Him, so you can receive the healing and comfort that you need.
It’s one of the best things about God: He offers love to anyone who has experienced rejection, betrayal, and hurt. He is not just close to the brokenhearted—He binds up their wounds.
Just like how the art of Kintsugi binds broken pottery and gives it new worth, Jesus Christ collects all your broken pieces and puts them back together. Allow God’s love and strength shine through those cracks, so you—and the people who witness your healing—could experience His glory.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV)
Are you looking for a song that would capture the feels as you reflect and heal?
Pansumandali is your wonderful reminder that though people and feelings come and go, God’s love is constant. Pre-save the song now and stream it this February 14.