Forgiving someone who has hurt you is never easy. It’s already hard to forgive when it’s a friend or someone outside the family — but what if it’s your own family?
Someone you see every day, live with, or share the same blood with?
The struggle is real. They say the people you love the most are the ones who can hurt you the deepest.
So, what can you do when forgiving a family member feels impossible? Here are some simple tips that might help you take the first step toward forgiveness:
1. Acknowledge the pain they caused
Sometimes, people try to excuse the hurtful actions of family members just because they’re family. You might hear things like, “Don’t take it to heart,” or “Just ignore it.” But ignoring the pain doesn’t make it go away — it only hides it until one day it might explode.
The first step to healing is to admit that you are hurt. When you’re honest about your feelings, you open your heart for God to heal you and help you forgive.
The Bible says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). God sees your pain. Talk to Him and let Him lighten the burden in your heart.
2. Ask God to help you forgive
After admitting your pain, the next step is to ask God to help you forgive. Forgiveness is not easy, and we cannot always do it on our own. But God can give you the strength you need.
Just pray and be honest with God. Tell Him you want to forgive, but you’re struggling. God honors a humble heart, and He will help you. Remember, we are also called to forgive others because God has forgiven us (Luke 6:36).
3. Talk to the family member who hurt you
Good communication is important in any relationship, especially with family. If a family member hurt you, it’s important to have an honest conversation with them — not to attack, but to share how their actions affected you and to help heal the relationship.
It might be hard, but it’s a way of showing love because, as the Bible says, “love covers over many sins” (1 Peter 4:8).
When you speak, be honest but gentle, and be willing to listen to what they have to say. Humbling yourself to talk and listen shows that you care about keeping the relationship strong.
4. Let go and let God
After talking to them, remember that you cannot control how they will respond. Your part is to be honest, loving, and forgiving. If they apologize and want to make things right, thank God!
But if they don’t respond the way you hope, don’t lose heart. Let go and let God handle the rest.
Pray for them and trust that God has a plan for both of you. “For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose” (Philippians 2:13).
If you want to learn more about forgiving a family member and be inspired by a story of forgiveness, don’t miss CBN Asia Holy Week Special “Preso,” starring Gerard Pizarras this Good Friday, April 18, 5:30 PM on GMA.
